


lost in space

by ukulele_hiphop



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Canon Universe, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Insecurities, Keith just wants to help, M/M, hello darkness my old friend, lance misses earth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-24
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2018-09-19 15:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9447659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukulele_hiphop/pseuds/ukulele_hiphop
Summary: "All the powers in the universe are already ours. It is we who have put our hands before our eyes and cry that it is dark."-Swami VivekanandaLance feels as if he is lost in space, searching for something he already has.Keith isn't exactly sure what he needs, but for some reason the constellation room beckoned him that night.((also let me know if there needs to be any more tags or if the format is weird!!! enjoy!!))





	1. he used to believe in stars, and would dream away his fears

**Author's Note:**

> hey there everyone! this is really exciting, and i'm hoping you think so too! see ya at the bottom! *cries*

Lance was tired.

 Lance was _so_ tired, it was almost unbearable. Yet, he still couldn’t find sleep. Sometimes being in space would take it’s toll on him. He couldn’t help but think of his family back home, on Earth. They were so many light years away. Lance couldn’t fathom how many galaxies he’s passed through, or all the solar systems that flew by within every wormhole he’s traveled. At the Garrison, he learned that time moved differently in space. Slower. He wouldn’t age at the same rate he would on Earth. His parents were growing older and his siblings were growing up. It could feel like hours passed on a foreign planet while on Earth, the equivalent would be years. Lance was tired, but he couldn’t sleep.

 At times like these, Lance felt comfort in the safety of the constellation room. He always came here alone on particularly _bad_ nights. No one knew about these little visits, except maybe Coran. The altean was always going through records and could probably see when Lance came and sorted through the maps. He sighed, running his hands through the projections of planets and stars. He never thought that during all those years of studying, research, and love for space that one day he would come to loathe it instead. Lance cradled the small virtual Earth in the palm of his hand, bringing it close to his chest. He felt his eyes glisten with tears, unable to stop them from falling. It always happened. It was inevitable.

 “Lance?”

 His shoulders jerked with the surprise of another voice filling the room. Lance was too startled to turn and see who it was, but he discerned the voice pretty easily. Without a single thought, the constellations faded out of existence and they were covered in a sheet of darkness. The only source of light were the controls blinking on the panel next to him, and the red bayard in the corner of Lance’s eye. Keith.

 “You.. come up here too?”

 Keith’s voice was closer to him now, maybe standing by his side at this point. Lance was too uncertain about speaking, considering tears were still dripping down his face. He settled on nodding, not sure if Keith saw him or not. He tried to keep his body as still as possible, not wanting to give himself away. Lance would never hear the end of it if Keith saw him cry.

Keith cleared his throat awkwardly, shuffling to the panel to turn it back on. The constellations draped over their skin once again, creating a blue hue around the two boys. Lance wiped his eyes with the bottom of his shirt, too exhausted to glare at Keith. The other sighed in response, seating himself at one of the stations in the centre of the room. “Sorry.. I interrupted you. My room just got a little overwhelming and I usually come up here _late_ , like _really late_ at night so I didn’t think you’d-”

 Lance chuckled breathily at Keith’s rambling. “Nah man, don’t worry about it. I was just checkin’ up on Earth, that’s all.” He said, trying to feign a positive tone. He wasn’t sure if Keith could see past it or not. Lance flicked his wrist and the planet was close to him again, glowing softly in the palm of his hand. He stretched his arms out wide and the Earth expanded, zooming in on a particular place. Keith gasped audibly in the background, Lance turned to face him dubiously. “ _How_ ?” Lance raised an eyebrow. Keith scurried over to him. “How’d you make it _zoom_ like that?” Lance shrugged, grinning softly to himself.

 “Check this out, Mullet.” He pointed to the United States, zooming in even further to a specific one. Arizona. “See, this is where I’m from.” He shifted downwards, Mexico. “And this is where my Mamá and Papá are from.” Keith nodded, soaking up the information wholeheartedly. He didn’t say anything, respecting Lance for opening up to him and his honesty. Lance smiled softly at the gesture, nudging Keith with his shoulder. “And you? I hardly know anything about you.” They met eyes and Keith shifted nervously on his feet. Lance was genuinely curious, and not poking fun at him. Keith swallowed thickly, unsure.

 “Here.” He shifted the map to the other side of the world, Korea. He didn’t zoom in or pinpoint an exact location. “That’s all I know.” Lance’s eyebrows shot up at this. “What do you mean?” Keith sighed roughly, shoving a hand through his hair. He looked panicked, to say the least. Only Shiro knew about him, about his _past_ . “I’m an orphan.” He suddenly blurted out, turning away from Lance. His eyes prickled with tears but didn’t fall. Keith was already used to that. Used to the teasing he _knew_ would come.

 Alas, it didn’t.

 Lance was very quiet for a second. He thought about his family back home on Earth and how much he missed them. He thought about how his mom probably cried when he didn’t call her after school that night, and how his dad probably tried to contact the Garrison in any way that he could, barely able to speak English. Then he thought about home. Arizona. The summer heat and sweet monsoons, the buzz of Tempe’s Mill Avenue during break and his backyard pool. Then he looked over at Keith.

 “Don’t say it, Lance. Don’t say I’m pathetic because I already _know_.” Keith muttered through clenched teeth.

 “I don’t hate you.”

"What?”

 “We’re not _rivals,_ Keith.”

 “What does that have to do wi-”

 Before Keith could finish what he was going to say, Lance abruptly shoved himself against him. He wrapped his arms as tightly as he could, fearing both of them would disappear if he didn’t. Keith let out a surprised noise but returned the gesture with only a little bit of hesitance. “We’re friends.” Lance said clearly behind Keith’s ear, where his face brushed the side of his neck and was tickled by his silly mullet. Lance actually _liked_ the mullet, sue him. Keith sighed contently, his body relaxing against the embrace. They stood like that for a few more seconds, surrounded by constellations and the sounds of soft breathing on both ends.

 “I’m glad you told me. About being an orphan, I mean. You’re really brave, Keith.”

 “You too, Lance. I can’t even begin to imagine how much you’re missing home back on Earth, but for now..” Keith trailed off for a moment, searching.

 “But for now.. _this_ can be your home.” Keith’s eyes glinted something mischievous and bright. It was as if a light bulb flashed within his head and seeped through his eyes, like the sun. Lance was almost blinded by it, to say the least. “What can?” He asked, feeling something akin to giddy rising up in his chest.

 “The constellation room.” Keith shrugged absentmindedly, smiling despite himself. He shifted the map back onto Earth, resting it between his fingertips. He didn’t think the planet had much to offer him, but space _did_ . Space brought him out of his comfort zone and pushed him to limits he might have doubted otherwise. Space held secrets he had yet to decipher. Keith didn’t know much about Voltron or the Galra Empire and nearly nothing about Zarkon, but he did know _one thing_ . He knew Lance. He knew how much Lance loved his family and Arizona and telling jokes just to get their team to laugh, relax, and take a break every once and awhile. But he also knew that wasn’t _all_ to him.

 Lance was complex like the very stars that shone in the sky. He was a massive blue, waiting in rest before he grew into a supernova, only to be consumed by the black hole of his mind. Lance had insecurities too, and Keith knew. Keith _knew_ Lance. He knew him enough that he was able to tell him secrets about his past and about himself that not even _Shiro_ had the liberty of knowing.

 They know and they understand, he and Lance.

 “You know what, Keith? I might just have to take you up on that.”  Lance could miss home and he could cry sometimes too. Constellations glittered across Keith’s face, compelling Lance to trace over them with his fingertips. He didn’t, though. Instead he settled on resting his hand against Keith’s, the one that cradled Earth in its palm. It glowed under their touch, the blue painting their skin in the darkness of it all. Keith thought to himself, sneaking a glance at Lance’s face.

_"This is the closest to home I’ve ever been.”_

 And so, enveloped by the stars and the blanket of space, the boys found sleep easy that night.


	2. talking just to breathe and falling selfishly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith and lance are pining and suffering and in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!!! this chapter was a hard one to squeeze out, school kind of got in the way.  
> but alas, i'm hoping the story is progressing smoothly and logically and understandingly(?) so please let me know if there's any errors or if the plot was lost in writing.  
> (geez sarah, run on sentence much?) (shh) so yeah, hope ya enjoy it!

It became routine.

Falling asleep was  _ easy  _ after he and Keith had a heart to heart every night before they went to bed. Lance was finding himself drawn to the boy for reasons he was too overwhelmed with for him to admit. Keith was so captivating, as if he were a gravitational pull in which Lance was lured into. He wanted to know the constellations that littered Keith’s face and the enticing void of his mind. Lance was a sappy romantic, okay. He was allowed to  _ dream _ .

“What’s your favorite color?”

Keith snorted, shifting slightly to nudge his shoulder with Lance’s. Before he could reply, however, Lance held up a finger to silence him. “And  _ don’t  _ say it’s red. Because I  _ will  _ fight you, Kogane.” This just encouraged him to laugh openly at Lance’s ridiculousness, wiping at his eyes softly. Keith knew what his favorite color was, even though he couldn’t explain why. It just sat right with him. “Violet.” Lance smiled at this, mischievously. Keith didn’t like that look. It only meant trouble. “As they say, roses are red,  _ violets are _ -” Keith shoved at Lance, pushing him as far as he could reach with a chuckle. “Violets are a shade of  _ purple,  _ Lance!”

“Yeah, like your eyes.”

Keith blinked, suddenly aware of his eyes.

“You look at my eyes?”

Lance grinned, halfway off the couch at this point. Keith was still shoving him off, softly.

“What is this, twenty one questions?”

At this, Keith blushed profoundly. He knew this game, the one where Lance would try to change the subject to get Keith to forget what he’d previously said and be a total dick about it. Not this time. “Stop avoiding the question.” The other boy smiled innocently, resting his chin in his hand. “What question?” Keith groaned, finally succeeding in pushing Lance off the couch with his foot. He could be exquisitely irritating, but Keith was used to it at this point. If anything, he was fond of it. He blinked, catching his own thoughts.  _ Stop that _ . “My eyes.”

“Yeah, what about them? They’re pretty, we know.”

Keith nearly fell off of the couch himself at that. “ _ Lance! _ ” He shrieked, blushing furiously. Lance seemed to be enjoying himself, his face smug and grinning. “Yes Keith, that’s my name.” Lance sat up, pleased with himself. If he could get reactions like this out of Keith all the time, his life would be  _ made _ . He’d always be satisfied. Keith pouted, laying on the floor now. He knew Lance had a tendency to be flirtatious, it just wasn’t applied to  _ him  _ most of the time. Keith didn’t have much experience in that respect, and he wasn’t sure how to exactly react in such a situation. Because he  _ liked  _ Lance. And he wanted Lance to like him back. Even though he didn’t know the game.

“Moving on..” Keith trailed off, lost in his thoughts. Embarrassing thoughts.  _ Dangerous  _ thoughts. Thoughts that  _ maybe  _ included Lance. Maybe. Probably. “Okay then, what’s your favorite season?” Lance was totally up for twenty one questions, it seemed. Hey, Keith wasn’t exactly complaining. Anything for some quality Bonding Time™.

“That’s a hard one.. Probably autumn, though.” Keith really  _ did  _ like autumn. The season of change, where the weather is neither hot nor cold. The leaves faded from their green color to that of brown and orange. Halloween crept up in October whilst people brewed their pumpkin flavored drinks in the comfort of their homes.  _ Home.  _ Keith missed home, more than he led on. His tiny shack in the desert was home. Texas, Arizona, and Nevada were home. Korea was home. Space was home. Keith could find home anywhere because he could easily adjust, and settle for what he had. Had he settled for space? For Voltron? For Lance? He considered this, and decided against it. He didn’t settle for  _ that _ . He chose them. He chose to make a home here. To make  _ Lance _ , perhaps, his home.

“You’re drifting, buddy.”

Keith shifted, focusing his thoughts elsewhere. “So yeah, autumn.” He said, almost dejectedly. Lance was frowning. It didn’t sit right on his face. Keith preferred a smiley, happy-go-lucky Lance, but even  _ he  _ knew better. Neither of them were happy, and they both knew that. They knew each other. And they understand. “Sounds like you. Fall is like, the  _ edgiest  _ season of them all.” Lance smirked, his demeanor back to normal again. “Personally, summer is my favorite. Let me tell you, Keith, summer in Arizona is  _ caliente.  _ I still love it, though.” He sounded nostalgic, and that in itself was dangerous. Whenever Lance got into detail about his home, he’d drift almost as bad as Keith would sometimes. Well, that’s when the good ol’ constellation room came in handy. But it was midday, and they just weren’t ready for that yet. Nighttime in space was an experience all on it’s own.

“Arizona is honestly the  _ best  _ in summer. Even though it gets to be over 100 degrees, we make do. I remember when my sister and I would go to Castles n’ Coasters over break, and the very next day to Wet n’ Wild. I really,  _ really  _ miss those days, Keith.”

Lance scooted closer to Keith now, gravitationally pulled into his orbit. These were secrets; thoughts he kept specifically locked in the back of his mind because if he didn’t, he would fall. Lance wasn’t scared of falling, no, but he wasn’t sure who would catch him if he did. He thought that maybe Keith would, because they were  _ bonding  _ now. But he couldn’t be too sure. Lance tiptoed around his emotions, only letting certain ones show around certain people. He wanted Keith to know all of them. All of  _ him _ . The good, the bad, the eye of the storm and the raging hurricane inside of him. His hopes, his dreams, and even his insecurities.

Keith felt something inside him shift, his heart making itself present in the lump of his throat. Lance had a way of drawing him in that made his breath catch and time stop. He was so  _ honest _ , and Keith didn’t know how to deal with that. “Summer in Arizona sounds great, Lance. Once we get back to Earth, you’ll have to show me.” That is, if Lance even wanted anything to do with him when they got back there. Keith liked to think he would, considering how close they had gotten over the past few months. You know, the constellation room and all that.

Something fond flashed inside Lance’s eyes, and he had to hide a blush in the crook of his elbow. “Sounds like a date then,  _ mullet _ .” Most of it was muffled, but Keith got the point. His own sputtered response was hidden within a flustered turn of the neck and roll of the eyes. He was  _ done  _ for. Keith cursed himself and his stupid heart and begrudgingly stood to his feet. The ache in his bones was all too familiar after the whole Blade of Marmora fiasco, and the cold floor wasn’t exactly helping his case. Keith hauled himself up and stretched upwards, relieving the tension in his burning muscles. With a sigh, he held out a hand for Lance, whose head was still shoved in the midst of his elbow. “Come on now, funny guy, let’s get going.”

Lance did  _ not _ want to lift his head while his face was still hot from the blush littered across his cheekbones. He did  _ not  _ just say that. Sure, he was a constant flirt and may or may not have used that trait as a coping mechanism for who knows how long, but when it came to  _ Keith?  _ His serious, heart pulling, heat inducing, dangerous  _ crush _ ? That was uncharted territory. A no-no. A slip up he couldn’t quite catch himself from making, and he didn’t even get to see Keith’s reaction to it all. So the idea of grabbing his hand and standing up to face him? “I think  _ the fuck _ not.”

“Fine, then I’ll go to my regular room and never play twenty one questions with you  _ again _ .”

The smirk in Keith’s voice was dangerous, but Lance was always up for a challenge. Even though his ears were burning and his heart was beating furiously in his chest, Lance could always one-up Keith. Especially on a bet like this, pssh. They only got to question two, anyway, so Keith owed him nineteen more. “That sounds like a horrible proposition. For one, you  _ hate  _ your regular room because you can’t sleep in it because of  _ moi _ and secondly, we didn’t finish the game. So I win. Let’s go.” Keith gave an exasperated laugh at that, and his lingering hand was finally caught in a warm embrace.

And so, the two held hands all the way to their secret haven of stars and thoughts, galaxies of whispers, and secrets between shared breaths; illuminated by constellations whilst wrapped in the blanket of space and the infrared of their very selves.

“The constellation room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! feel free to leave a comment or whatevs, they make my day.
> 
> find me on the web to talk all things voltron on tumblr @/ukulele-hiphop


	3. total eclipse of the heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi hi! this is my favorite chapter as of yet. hope you like it too. as always, feedback is always appreciated. see you at the bottom, my friends!

“Anyways, let’s continue where we left off.”

Keith shrugged, smiling despite himself. Constellations danced across his features as he settled himself within the room and onto their makeshift bed of space pillows and blankets. Lance had suggested that bringing their entire space  _ beds _ into the room would have been a little extreme, but in quote of him, ‘extra’. Keith had agreed with him, since Coran made rounds of all the rooms each day. But their setup was a  _ secret _ .

Lance grinned, situating himself neatly next to Keith. “Okay, so, what’s your favorite animal?”

Keith thought briefly to himself, resting his cheek in his hand. When he lived in the desert, there wasn’t much of a variety of animals he could choose from. However, ever since he was a child he had a certain kind of fondness for “Red pandas.”

Lance’s eyebrows shot up almost comically as he let out a snort of appreciation. “I would have  _ never  _ guessed that. Keith, you surprise me more and more each and every day.” Keith smiled softly into the crook of his hand, a blush barely dusted across his cheekbones. He never thought of himself as a person of  _ interest  _ or surprise, but Lance seemed to think otherwise. “What  _ did  _ you think I’d say, huh, smart guy?”

Lance crossed his arms, grinning slyly. “Probably like, a  _ wolf _ , since you’re always trying to be the loner of the group. Even though you work better in a pack, i.e.  _ Voltron. _ ” Keith blinked, thinking. “That was.. sort of deep?” Lance beamed at that, his eyes twinkling. He then rolled onto his stomach, which  _ somehow  _ placed him face first on top of Keith’s legs. Before he could stutter out a response, the other actually made  _ room  _ for him. Needless to say, he was blushing, but it was all in good fun. Lance cleared his throat, feeling lighter than air. “Yeah, well.. I can be all metaphorical too,  _ you know. _ ” His voice cracked softly at the end, which gained Keith’s attention. Lance’s bravado had faltered.

“Of course you can, Lance. You don’t have to be comedic relief  _ all  _ the time..” Lance was suddenly interested in anything other than Keith’s face or legs or soft hand which somehow found it’s way to Lance’s shoulder in some kind of comforting motion which  _ didn’t  _ have an effect on Lance’s blushing face or bleary eyes. “But that’s all you guys know me as. Lance, the ‘funny guy’ or Lance, ‘the flirt’. It’s just… I’m not  _ just  _ that.” The weight on Lance’s heart was heavy as is, but now it felt as if the pressure of space had condemned on it. He couldn’t breathe. He never talked about this to  _ anyone  _ before, not even Hunk.  _ Keith will catch me if I fall, he’ll catch you, calm down Lance you needto calmdown… _

“Wait, no,  _ Lance _ . You’re our sharpshooter. You’re a pilot of Voltron; the universe’s only hope. And Lance, you’re  _ smart _ .” Keith blinked, his hand frozen on Lance’s shoulder. Grounding him, grounding himself. Lance wouldn’t catch his eyes. “You’re  _ so  _ smart. We were only able to rescue Slav because  _ you  _ were there. And when that bomb infiltrated the castle  _ you  _ figured it out and saved Coran. Saved us! Saved.. me. The universe chose you, Lance. Blue  _ chose  _ you.”

Time seemed to stop for them as Lance finally,  _ finally  _ looked up at Keith. “What is it like.. being a Galra?” His voice was merely a whisper. Without hesitation, Keith breathed, “Lonely.”

Lance blinked as constellations flickered. “I can’t even begin to imagine.” Keith shrugged, the change in topic making him falter. “Yeah, well. I got used to it. Being lonely, I mean. Not the Galra thing. I’ll never get used to that.” Lance looked down, feeling as vast and open as space itself. “Same.” Keith frowned at that, looking somewhat hurt. Lance caught himself right away. “OH! The lonely thing! I’m lonely. Not the Galra thing,  _ dios mío _ , Keith. I’ll always accept you for who you are, no matter what.” Keith didn’t realize he was holding his breath until his lungs began to burn so he sighed, closing his eyes briefly.

“Then there’s something else you need to know about me.”

Lance tilted his head, lost in his curiosity. Keith’s eyes met his, twinkling playfully. Lance couldn’t read him.

“I’m.. I’m gay, Lance. Super gay, like. Extremely.”

Lance let out a surprised fit of laughter at Keith’s deadpan voice. “Hunk  _ was  _ right! Galra Keith  _ is  _ funny!” He was clutching his chest, catching his breath. His heart was beating a million miles per second. Per light year. Per  _ lifetime _ . Keith huffed to himself, blushing and satisfied. He felt like he was floating. “Well mullet, just to be fair, I’m bi. So there, we’re even.” Lance managed through a lopsided grin. He was  _ caught _ . He fell and Keith caught him. Lance was  _ done for _ . He wasn’t always a believer of luck or fate before Voltron, but he and Keith  _ had  _ to be the result of some sacred star alignment for them to have wound up here, together, in their shared space of stars and planets they couldn’t even remember.

“I’m sorry for being a dick to you at the Garrison.” Lance suddenly blurted out.

Keith cringed at the mention of  the Garrison.“Sorry for misunderstanding you. And taking the bait.”

Lance smiled, finally letting himself feel at peace with things. He knew Keith had noticed his quick change of subject earlier, but appreciated his consideration for not bringing it up again. Lance wasn’t ready to delve into his insecurities with Keith, being that he could barely even acknowledge them on his own. At least he knew he was definitely  _ something  _ to team Voltron, and to Keith. Lance was almost overwhelmed as he briefly thought back to what Keith had pointed out about him only minutes earlier. He sighed a broken breath, and stretched his arms out against Keith’s thighs. This was fine. This was a perfect,  _ perfect  _ distraction.

“I forgive you, mullet head. It was my fault anyway, for being jealous.”

Keith hummed in response, distracted by Lance’s sudden proximity. “Jealous?” He managed. Lance nodded vigorously. “Yeah,  _ yeah _ . Ask Hunk! I never stopped complaining about you. It was always ‘Keith this’ and ‘Keith that’. I always tried to convince myself that I  _ hated  _ you because I couldn’t admit that I was just jealous. So when I heard you’d been expelled there was this  _ shift _ , man, because that meant I could be promoted to Fighter Pilot. And I was! Garrison Lance was _ecstatic_ , Keith.” His voice was so nostalgic and laced with so many different emotions at once. Keith was trying to absorb them all.

“Looking at it now, though, Voltron Lance can admit that he was  _ wrong _ . Wrong about the infamous  _ Keith Kogane _ . Wrong about the world. So thanks, for motivating me to get better.”

Keith’s heart was beating profoundly in his chest, making him stutter for a moment. Back at the Garrison he knew about Lance. He knew him as the guy who’d always try to pick a fight with him, insult him behind his back, and try to surpass him at any chance he’d get. “I.. I was  _ nothing  _ at the Garrison. Shiro asked me to enroll only because I was surviving out in a shack in the desert by myself. I was nothing special, Lance.” Keith felt his tone turn bitter even though he tried to keep it indifferent. Lance caught on to it right away, though. He knew how Keith worked by now.

“You’re a sky full of stars, Keith.”

Keith looked down at Lance, letting old memories slip away from him. He’d much rather fill his mindscape with  _ these _ memories. These small moments he’d never take for granted, even when they found themselves worlds apart back on Earth. Because Keith knew he wouldn’t exist in Lance’s world. In Lance’s Earth. When they go home, he’ll simply be a footstep in Lance’s mind.  _ Please don’t forget me when we go our separate ways. _

“Keith? You’re drifting, buddy.” Keith blinked hard, suddenly pushed away from his thoughts. “Sorry, Lance, but this is the worst game of twenty one questions I’ve ever played.” Lance gasped, faking a hurt expression. “I thought it was going so well! Let’s play something else, then. Truth or dare?” Lance grinned playfully, inching his way closer to Keith, who pretended not to notice. Keith rolled his eyes, a soft blush painting his features pink.

“Truth.” Keith shrugged.

“How handsome is Lance  _ really? _ ” Lance’s signature finger guns followed this question.

Keith snorted, his answer already on the tip of his tongue. “Extremely.”

Lance, prepared with a cheeky comeback, was actually caught by surprise. He threw his scarlet face into his arms and shoved Keith childishly away from him. “S-Shut up!” He sputtered easily through fingers, sparing a glance at Keith. His face was flustered and smug, seemingly embarrassed by his forwardness. He couldn’t make eye contact with Lance for the life of him.

So in the comfort of stars and secrets, the two found themselves feeling whole that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that was something. anyways, feel free to find me on the web on tumblr @/ukulele-hiphop to talk all things voltron. till next time! <3


	4. wrap you around the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the heart to heart we deserved before season four :'^) ANYWAY it's been a hot minute since this last updated, so as you can probably see, this takes place between season 2 and 3, right before keith's blade of marmora arc. can you guys believe we're on season 6 already??? this show has come so far. hopefully this story feels as nostalgic for you as it does for me. it made me take a step back writing them without everything that's been revealed since this story's journey started. (which is why keith is korean and texas kogane/krolia doesn't exist in this story... yet? and lance is still our sharp-shooter and not from cuba. again, this was written before all this was revealed!) hope you enjoy! ♡

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place between season 2 and 3, to clear up any confusion! this story was written long before keith's past was revealed, and lance got his bayard upgrade and confirmed to be from cuba. regardless, hope you enjoy this chapter!

Lance narrowed his eyes as the altean training bot advanced towards him. His shots were quick and precise, disintegrating the bot with practiced ease. Lance wasn’t one to hit the training deck that often since his weapon was far ranged, but lately he’s been a bit more inspired. Ever since his nights in the constellation room with Keith, he’s found himself here more often than not. If he wasn’t surrounded by stars, he was bombarded by bots. This definitely  _ wasn’t  _ a coping mechanism. Except that is was.

Home was still a million light years away. If not more, and Lance couldn’t bring himself to think too hard about it. His family, his friends, for all he knew everything could be different back on earth. Fighting Zarkon, and now Lotor, added more to his nerves as tension rose tirelessly inside the castle. Lance just wanted to go home, but space war prevented him from it. Sometimes he wondered if any of this was even worth it. He was obviously the most expendable member of the team, judging by how he’s treated most of the time. Keith saw through that facade, however.

Keith made Lance feel like the war against Zarkon was going to be worth something. Like they’d save the universe and it would be that easy. As if Voltron really could take him down, Lotor, Haggar, and the rest of the galra with him. Lance knew what it was like to have too much of a good thing, and even though Voltron could hold its own, he also knew there was a time limit accompanying it. Keith was determined and hard-headed, but he didn’t really know how the real world worked at times. Lance didn’t either, but they were young and pulled into space before any of them could even bat an eye. 

“End training sequence.” Lance all but groaned as his body ached for relief. He was lean, sure, but that didn’t mean he was necessarily in shape. He’d have to hit the training deck everyday to get to Keith’s level. Every hour to even dream of Shiro’s build. Lance sighed, and laid down on the deck. Everything felt like too much, and this was supposed to  _ help  _ him clear his mind. At least in theory. In practice, not so much. Being on the verge of death wasn’t something Lance preferred to do in his free time, although he knew the castle would never intentionally hurt him. The virus from so long ago still clouded his mind, though. The others probably felt the same about that, he considered.

“Tired already, buckeroo?” Coran’s sharp voice cut through Lance’s thoughts as the altean made himself onto the training deck. “I used to come here all the time when I was a boy, training to work by King Alfor’s side all those years ago.” He elaborated, extending a hand to help heave Lance’s tired body up. Lance grinned at that. “Seems like 10,000 years did you good, old man.” He snarked, earning a playful glare from the altean. “Who you calling old man? In altean years, I’m barely middle aged.” Coran boasted, a certain gleam in his eye. Lance raised an eyebrow, not really sure if he believed that, but let it go nonetheless. Coran always had a way of cheering him up, almost like his  _ tío  _ at home.

Lance yawned and stretched, watching as Coran did some maintenance work on the training deck’s settings. The castle was working just fine, but everyone was still on edge from the virus last time, and threats from the galra always motivated them to keep things up to date. Coran was more than efficient when it came to this. “Hey Coran, you know the room where we map all the constellations and worlds in the universe?” Lance started just as Coran closed the panel he was working on. The altean nodded, inviting Lance to continue. “Well I was thinking, since we have a version of it on earth, if it was possible the map could  _ zoom in _ almost? Like give us a real time view of worlds, not just a hologram.” Lance knew this probably didn’t make any sense, he was pretty sure Coran didn’t know what google maps was. The altean tilted his head, looking up in thought.

Then his eyes lit up, and he flashed Lance a very bright, altean grin. “My boy, I think you’re onto something! I’ll have to do some diagnostics and perhaps have a chat with Pidge, but an alteration like that could give us some real advantage in the war against Zarkon! I’ll get back to you on that.” And then he was gone, in a rush of altean magic. Lance wasn’t even upset that he’d been left hanging, he was just in awe of Coran’s enthusiasm. And the prospect of having the most advanced equivalent of google maps in the universe. He was, however, a bit defeated that it was for the war effort. Lance just wanted to see his home again, up close. Intimately.

 

-

 

Lance found Keith already set up in their usual spot. Oddly enough, stars weren’t illuminating their presence like usual that evening. “Keith, buddy, you’re sitting in the dark here.” He blatantly observed, flopping down next to Keith who was uncharacteristically  _ solid _ . His body was hunched and tense, and he seemed to have a great difficulty looking Lance in the eye. “Keith, what’s wrong?” Lance voice was suddenly very serious, and the atmosphere around them turned cold. He had a bad feeling whatever Keith was keeping from him was going to hurt once he said it, and Lance needed it to be prolonged. Just a few more days, Keith, please, and it’ll be ready. I’ll show you everything. 

“I’m leaving, Lance. To train with the Blade of Marmora.”

This was a black hole, it had to be. Lance was being sucked in, particle by particle. No atom would be able to escape. There was no light surrounding him anymore. Just a cold, empty void. A void Keith wound so deeply in Lance’s heart. His entire being. He couldn’t just leave now that he was entwined with Lance’s essence. He wouldn’t survive without his other half a whole. He couldn’t. “When.” 

Lance couldn’t even form a question with his throat so tight. He felt so defeated, so lost. His heart was a supernova, all consuming and destructive. Lance knew when to admit defeat, and this was it. Keith shook his head, burying his face in his hands. His knees bounced. His shoulders tensed. Lance hated the sight of him. He was corrupting the beauty of the constellation room. “I don’t know yet, I haven’t even brought it up to the rest of the team. Not to Shiro, not Allura. I just know that I need to do this, regardless of Voltron. Shiro can take over Black again, and-” Lance grabbed his wrist, prying Keith’s hands from his face. “Stop. Just stop, Keith.” His voice was meant to be calming, but it just sounded empty. Hollow.

Keith let himself fall into Lance’s hands. He knew he'd be caught, that Lance would hold him. That he'd be safe in his embrace. Lance dug his fingers into Keith’s hair, pulling him closer and closer still. Lance was allowed to be selfish. He was allowed to want Keith to stay in this little world where Voltron didn't matter. The war didn't matter. Space didn't matter. It was just them and their words and their bodies against the whole universe.

Lance sucked in a heavy breath, clutching at Keith like the fiber of his being was torn apart from him. “It's alright, mullet man. I've got you.  _ Te tengo. _ ” Lance knew in his heart that no, it wasn't alright, but he and Keith lived different lives outside their constellation room. He just wanted to pretend they didn't. That it wasn't just a coping mechanism. Except that it was.

Keith looked up at Lance, and even in the darkness, he was brighter than the sun back home on earth. Warmer than the ocean. Farther away than Korea, and Keith longed to pull him back. “I'm sorry Lance, but I just  _ know  _ in my gut that  _ something  _ is waiting out there for me.”  It was like finding the blue lion all over again, fate guiding him out of his desert shack and back to the Garrison. Fate which lead him to Voltron, and Lance. 

Lance chuckled dryly, smiling despite himself. It was crooked in all the wrong places. His eyes were cold and distant, but understanding lingered nonetheless. “That sounds so like you, Keith. The universe could never tie you down. You're some kind of shooting star the universe wished for, and all its dreams came true.” He felt himself lie down on his back despite the numbness in his bones. Keith followed suit, their arms and thighs squished together like gravity forced them to collide. Lance wanted to disintegrate from the collision. Keith couldn't stop staring.

Lance intertwined their fingers, bringing their hands to rest against his chest. His heartbeat pounded against his ribcage. Keith could probably feel it underneath his palm. “I don't want to lose you.” He whispered, closing his eyes and let it sink it. The weight of his words equaled the weight of the universe. Keith’s breath caught in his throat. Lance didn't wait before he continued on. “This war is so fucking stupid. Do you know how long we've been up here?”

It was a rhetorical question, but Lance contemplated it so much he might as well look for an answer. “Light years. You can talk all you want about fate, Keith, but to me, this all seems like a curse. Sure, we found the blue lion. Sure, we woke up 10,000 year old alteans who fell asleep at the start of a universal war. Just to be sucked into it. Did we ever really agree to all this?” His voice was strained with the effort of it all. With the tears threatening to fall. With Keith staring at him like Lance himself was the universe.

Keith didn't think before he felt himself flip over, and onto Lance’s chest. He brought his arms around him, overwhelmed and lost but grounded when Lance reciprocated the makeshift hug. “You're right, Lance. This war, Voltron, all of it is so fucking draining. I don't want to lose you either, and I'm sorry. This mission, with the Blades, it should only take a little while. Enough to end all of it, and then we'll go home. All of us. You and me.”

They both laid in silence for a time after that, Lance drawing star maps along Keith’s back while the other ran hands through his hair. Keith's departure was inevitable. Lance could feel himself sinking, sinking. Sinking until he was back home in Arizona under the weight of a pool in his backyard. He didn't need to see if he was underwater. He didn't need to breathe. Didn't need to hear. Didn't need to think. Didn't need to feel anything except the ripples across his skin and the chlorine burning his eyes.

Silence could only give so much space, however. “I told Coran about an idea I had for this room.” Lance coaxed Keith’s face out of his shoulder and arranged them so they were facing each other. “I figured we'd had enough of holograms, so why not have a three dimensional map instead? I wanted to surprise you, but I don't know how long I could've kept it from you since… yeah.” Lance waved his hand, gesturing at their situation. With Keith leaving, the rest of their days were numbered. Pidge said they'd be able to set it up soon. Lance didn't know how soon they meant. Not soon enough.

Keith couldn't quite look up to meet Lance's eyes, so he entwined their fingers instead. He stared at the contrasts of their skin, dark against light. Light against dark. Lance once told him that they weren't rivals, that he didn't hate him. Their fights at the Garrison were merely the byproduct of a misunderstanding. Right now, however, Keith wasn't so sure. He felt like he was back in the rescue ship, arguing with Lance on who would be the one to save Shiro. “Oh, like google maps?”

Lance huffed a laugh that borderline sounded like a cough, out of exasperation at Keith’s response. “Oh my god Keith, yes, like google maps.” His voice was filled with disbelief, and he felt almost hysterical. Lance wanted to laugh his guts out and simultaneously shake Keith until he went unconscious. He didn't do either but pry his fingers out of Keith's grasp and shove them against his eyelids, pushing away tears. 

This reaction was foreign to Keith, not quite sure if Lance was being serious or not. He crossed his arms against his chest, needing the leverage. Needing the edge. Needing the upper hand but not receiving any of it. Lance sighed and finally smiled at him, soft but unsure. “I was going to show you what my hometown looked like. We were going to walk the streets of Roosevelt and admire local art. I was going to stand outside my house again, and walk around my yard. Preferably holding hands with you, but that was undecided. It probably won't be done in time, but hey,  _ un niño puede soñar, ¿verdad?”   _

Lance felt himself cracking, falling apart bit by bit. He wanted so badly to share himself, all of himself, with Keith. Keith, who probably didn’t understand an ounce of what he'd just described, but that was the point. He wanted to show him. “I like you so much, Keith.” He whispered, not having the strength to meet Keith's eyes anymore. He was tired. “I like you so much, sometimes it scares me.” He also admits, clawing a hand through his already disheveled hair. “I like you, and you're leaving. When will you get to be  _ my  _ shooting star?”

Keith sucked in a breath with great difficulty, his brain going haywire. It was all static. Earth to Keith. They weren't in earth, so he couldn't really find himself. Keith never felt so much in one moment, enough to make his whole entire  _ being  _ stop while his mind couldn't catch up. Lance always had to one-up him, regardless of their situation. “You… I…” Stupid words. Stupid, stupid words. 

Keith, by nature, showed more than he was able to tell. He used body language. He calculated. He watched. He learned. Words were never his strong point. He'd been an outstanding pilot at the Garrison, but when it came to general classwork, he fell impossibly short. His top mark in class came purely from flight alone, which frustrated him to no end. He'd do anything to go back, to prove his worth, with words and thought alone.

Lance sighed, looking more defeated as Keith struggled to reply. “Take your time buddy, you're only leaving in what? A few days, hours?” His voice was anything but friendly. Anything but patient. Anything but Lance. Keith knew Lance to radiate heat like waves emulating from Arizona pavement. Warm like the ocean breeze at Rocky Point. Now he was as cold as the frost in Flagstaff, shut in by snow covered walls, closed off from the world. Keith so desperately wished to pave his way inside.

“You're making this incredibly hard for me, Lance. You know how I am. Arrogant, hardheaded, distant. But you've changed that about me. If anything, you're  _ my  _ shooting star. All my life I wished for that  _ one  _ person who would like me for me. Someone I knew would have my back. Someone who'd be there in my worst moments, and not leave when they saw the true sight of me.”

Keith could feel his walls tearing down, and he was so bad at this. At communicating how he feels. He blinked out the tears in his eyes and waited for Lance to meet his. If they really weren't rivals, if Lance truly meant what he'd said, Keith could do this. He could be honest without restraint. He could be Keith, and Keith alone. Lance finally looked up.

“That's all you. Lance, you're the home I never had.” He said this with such vigor, needing it to sink in. Needing Lance to hear him fully and clearly. Keith had never felt this vulnerable in his  _ life _ . Sad backstory be damned. He felt his jaw tense, and swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. “You mean so much to me, Lance.” 

Lance could barely hold back his gasp of relief as his lungs collapsed with the breath he'd been holding. The darkness around them seemed almost embarrassing. It was ruining the atmosphere of their tiny little world. So he stood, and made his way to the control panel. Keith startled, watching with exhausted confusion at Lance’s response to his speech, more so confession. This only added to his prolonged dread. 

Lance typed in a few codes and smiled as the room lit up with life once again. He ran his hands through familiar constellations, skimming them with practiced ease. His anger seeped away with every star, and his mourning with every planet. “C’mere, mullet head.” He held a hand out to Keith, who accepted it graciously. “Did you hear what I said?” Keith asked, tone sharp. Lance felt his face shift into something fond, and he kept Keith's hand tightly in his grasp. 

“Look at us, Keith. It's like the Garrison all over again. I'm sorry. I misunderstood you. Again.” Lance pulled him into a hug, squeezing hard enough for Keith to huff out a laugh, followed by a grin. Finally. Their stars were aligned once again. The universe shifted back into place. “I already feel like I've lost enough, being separated from my family and all. I didn't want to lose you either.” He murmured into Keith’s nape. 

“I'm not exactly doing this by choice either, Lance.” Keith’s voice was gentle but firm. “When I found Blue, it was like the world was finally giving something back to me. Everything before that moment felt like I was being drained. First an orphan, then a dropout. With the Blades, I have that feeling again. There's something out there that I _need_ to find, and I just know it. Deep inside, I know it.” He whispered into the space behind Lance’s ear. Feeling torn apart and put together once again. 

Lance pulled away, but grasped Keith's hands in favor of keeping their connection alive. “I'm a selfish boy, Keith. I want to own the things  _ yo amo _ .” He consoled, tracing the stars on Keith's cheeks with his eyes. Keith raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “The things you what?” 

Lance ducked his head, suddenly bashful. He usually laced his words with Spanish when he found himself nervous or shy. Uncharacteristically shy, as he was now. Keith found this side of Lance incredibly endearing. “The things that I…” he trailed off, blushing all the way to the tips of his ears. Lance squared his shoulders and looked pointedly at Keith, squeezing their hands for leverage. “The things that I love.”

Time stood still as they both soaked up the meaning behind those words. Lance looked constipated and kittenish at the same time, cheeks rosy as constellations danced across his features. He was the sun once again, luring everything into his gravitational pull. Keith felt almost whimsical, being swept off his feet with Lance’s captivating words. He felt exceptionally bold as he leaned in, and kissed Lance just shy of the corner of his mouth. “ _ Aishiteru _ . Idiot.” 

Lance blinked a few times, registering the almost kiss as Keith grinned, proud of himself, as he pulled away. Lance fumbled against the control desk, flailing as he searched for something to hold onto. “You just pulled a fast one on me! What did you say? Was that  _ Japanese?  _ How many secrets do you  _ have  _ Keith?” Lance babbled, thoroughly shook to his core. He thought  _ he’d  _ be the first one to pull something like this. He was going to confess his feelings on the Tempe Town Lake Bridge, in the 3d simulation Pidge was currently working on. Like always, Keith beat him to the punch. To the kiss. 

Keith couldn't help the giggles which slipped past his lips. To think Lance could become so flustered from an  _ almost kiss  _ had him both amused and endeared all at once. Lance was usually more flirtatious in that respect, but Keith was more bold on acting upon his feelings. He grinned as he folded his arms across his chest. “I finally beat you at your own game, McClain. First, I'm not telling you what I said. Second, yes, that was Japanese. Thank Shiro for that. And secrets? Well, you'll just have to dig those up yourself.” Sly, Keith felt incredibly proud with himself. Lance shook his head with disbelief.

“I can't believe you right now. Keith Kogane, a man of many secrets. Keith Kogane, stealing hearts. I never thought I'd see the day.” Genuine wonder spread across Lance’s face, and he took in Keith with a new light. He could see himself easily falling in love with him, if he wasn't a little bit down that road already. Keith looked the most beautiful like this, confident and covered in constellations. Lance couldn't take his eyes off of him.

 

-

 

They gathered themselves up enough to set up their usual bedding for nights spent in the comfort of their constellation room. It felt almost domestic as they laid their blankets and pillows next to each other in their spots. It was quiet except for sleepy whispers, and the rustling of two boys getting reading for bed. It was more intimate than any of the other months spent there.

Lance laid himself down, exhausted but wired nonetheless. Keith’s foot was shaking relentlessly on his side of their arrangement. “Hey, Keith.” He whispered, shifting closer to grasp his hand in the middle. “Everything is changing, huh?” The question lingered in the air, a secret lost to the stars. Keith squeezed their hands, humming into the open air. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess it is.” 

Thoughts of leaving and love slipped clumsily around their minds, as they fell asleep to the comfort of stars warm between their fingertips.


	5. you left me standing here, a long long time ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> keith gets ready to leave just as he and lance have fallen in love. some crying. some kissing. some heart to hearts. ya know, just casually rewriting voltron,,, ALSO yes, shiro is acting quite strangely because spoiler alert, (((he's a clone)))

Everything was changing.

The castle was already feeling the loss of Keith and he hadn’t even told everyone yet. Besides Lance, only Allura, Coran, and Shiro knew of his imminent departure. Keith hadn’t the heart to tell Pidge or Hunk while they worked tirelessly to search for Pidge’s brother. He figured they had enough on their backs, especially Pidge, who dedicated herself on finding Matt since day one in space. Before that, even. Keith wished he knew what exactly he was looking for. The Blade promised him missions that would satisfy their thirst for war against the Galra. It promised him glory beyond that of Voltron. Keith didn’t want glory, he just wanted to feel complete.

It was a mutual decision when he and Lance cleared out their constellation room, leaving it bare and unlived in and extremely unsettling. Pidge hadn't been able to complete the makeshift google maps Lance had been so excited about, which added to both their misery. One good thing  _ did  _ come out of all this, however.

Lance was ever constant in Keith's routine following their intense heart to heart. They trained together, ate together, polished the Lion’s together. You could say they were practically married, if you could be married in space. Keith didn't think too much about it or else it made his heart hurt at the thought of leaving. They were obvious, and they didn't care.

Lance often surprised him with cheeky kisses of his own after Keith ‘pulled a fast one’ on him the night of the almost kiss. On his forehead, the top of his hand, his cheeks, and just shy of his lips. Keith was essentially losing his mind over Lance’s cockiness of it all. He wasn't exactly teasing, but he wasn't giving Keith what he wanted either. It was new and they both skirted around each other, keeping it light before the storm finally hit.

“You're leaving in like, a week, so you have to tell them. Soon.” Lance breathed as he wrapped an arm around Keith's waist, leading them out of the Black Lion’s hanger. Keith had finally gathered the rest of his belongings and wanted to make amends with Black before he left for who knew how long. 

Keith shrugged under Lance's grasp, shoulders tense with repressed guilt. “I just don't know how to break it to them! Pidge’s going to be devastated, and Hunk is… well Hunk is going to make me cry regardless of what he says, and I just won't be able to take it. So no.” He ranted, linking their fingers together and swinging them a bit. It was a bad habit of his, putting walls up against himself in order to protect others.

Lance hummed, shaking his head with disapproval. “It's just going to make it worse, the longer you wait to tell them! Believe me, Keith, for you and them both. You have to tell them. Tonight.” He said, poking Keith's head with his free hand. Keith brushed it off with a scowl, earning himself a puff of laughter from Lance. Black groaned in the distance. Keith felt her pain.

As they entered the common room, they were met with Shiro with his arms crossed as if expecting them to wander in here eventually. Lance tried to pry himself from Keith’s side, but Keith didn't let him. Their relationship was mostly a secret among the castle, but he wasn't about to let either of them feel ashamed when caught in someone's presence. Keith felt enough of that growing up, and he was ready to leave that behind. Desert shack who? Never heard of it.

Lance cleared his throat, looking from him to Shiro, who still hadn't made any indication of their positions together. Keith didn't let his stare waver until Shiro let up, posture turning relaxed with a roll of his eyes. “You know this comprises the team right, Keith? Lance?” He said jokingly, but Lance couldn't read his tone and sputtered. Keith felt his own eyes roll back, and he groaned. “Well I'm leaving the team, so who cares?” He challenged back, as Shiro held up both arms as if to say, “I give up.”

Keith beckoned Lance over to the seat just across Shiro, and pulled him flush against his side. Lance couldn't meet his eyes, face bright red but grinning nonetheless. Keith was too forward with his affections, especially since he was Lance’s first… whatever they were. Together made the most sense. He was overwhelming, and Lance could barely handle it, okay? Give him a break.

Shiro’s playful behavior shifted back into his neutral, serious, almost robotic demeanor with nearly a blink of an eye as his gaze settled on them again. “Yes about that. Keith, I wanted to know if you'd be alright with me piloting the black lion again.” Keith scrunched his eyebrows, drawing himself forward and resting his elbows on his knees and chin in his hands. Lance automatically cupped his hand to his back, rubbing calming circles against his spine like he'd always been doing it.

Keith didn't understand why Shiro wanted to ask him about this. Wasn't it a given? “Of course I'd be alright with it. You  _ were  _ Black’s original paladin. Also the original leader of Voltron, if you don't remember.” Shiro’s eyes flashed something dangerous at that last statement, and Keith had to fight back a list of questions. He'd never seen Shiro's face twist so hauntingly before. Lance sucked in a breath, startled by the looks of it too.

“You  _ do  _ know that, right Shiro?” Keith pushed again, not willing to let it drop. Shiro had always been confident with Black, even when he sacrificed her to Keith in those desperate moments back when they crash landed on that planet so long ago. Shiro narrowed his eyes, then opened them wide once again. He shook his head vigorously, then looked almost like a deer caught in the headlights. It was abnormal, to say the least. Keith was barely holding it together.

Shiro gripped the back of his neck, looking uncharacteristically shaken up. “I've just been feeling different lately, not myself. I was worried the black lion wouldn't accept me without your… blessing, or something.” He said, rather lamely. Not himself? Keith shared a look with Lance, a million questions and answers passed between their stare alone. Keith fought back the urge to grab Shiro by the shoulders and interrogate him right then and there. He'd never seen his brother so unsure of himself before.

Keith cleared his throat, and fixed Shiro with a pointed stare. “Look, Black will accept you no matter what. You know this. You don't need my blessing to be it’s paladin, you just need to be  _ you _ .” Shiro looked almost confused as he took this all in, then quickly fixed it by nodding his head. “Of course. You’re- Just passing the baton along, right?” Shiro laughed, the sound foreign to Keith's ears. It was different somehow, he just couldn't place it.

“Right. Well, see you, Shiro.” With that, Keith ungraciously pulled Lance by his arm and all but ran out of the common room. Lance looked relieved the moment their breaths met fresh air. He latched himself onto Keith's arm like it was life or death without it. “Tell me that wasn't the spookiest shit you've ever seen.” Lance shivered, looking back as if Shiro might've followed them.

Keith rushed them even faster, needing the space to be alone with Lance and  _ think _ . “No, but it's high up there on the list.” He responded, voice strained as they made it to Lance’s room. They fell inside and took a long, deep breath. Keith dropped down against the altean door, sliding to his knees. Lance joined him, hooking their hands together and laying them against his thigh.

“There was definitely something wrong with Shiro. He's never acted like that before… questioning himself? Lance, that's not him.” Keith shook his head, meeting Lance’s eyes with earnest. “He's always been confident, especially when it came to Voltron.” 

Lance shrugged, squeezing Keith's hand beneath his own. “He's been stressed out lately. Maybe he wants a vacay and doesn't know how to break it to you. ‘Oh Keith, please tell me  _ not  _ to take over the black lion, and give me the rest that I deserve!’  _ ¿Qué no?”  _ Lance couldn't deny that yes, Shiro had been acting strange lately, but it couldn't have been anything serious, right? They were all worried about something or another, it made sense that Shiro might have been overwhelmed by it all.

Keith sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair. Lance’s theory made enough sense, but he still knew something else was going on with his brother. Keith grumbled something under his breath and let it go, just for now. Lance laid his head against his shoulder, breathing deeply as he stared fondly at their tangled mess of hands. Keith enjoyed their gentle intimacy. The brush of hands, the leaning into each other, the feathered kisses. He wanted to be in Lance’s orbit at all times. 

“You know I lied,” Keith started, breathing into the crown of Lance’s head. “I lied about wanting Shiro to take over the black lion.” He whispered, feeling Lance go a bit stiff next to him. Lance pulled himself a little bit away so as to meet Keith's eyes, which were bright and a little bit mischievous in the low light of his room. Lance raised an eyebrow, inviting him to continue.

Keith couldn't fight the smile which tugged at his lips as he took in Lance’s curious expression. “I was thinking  _ you  _ should pilot Black.” He said, like it was no big deal. Like it made the most sense in the world. Lance’s mouth couldn't find the right words so it simply threw out some gibberish Keith couldn't help but giggle at. Not in a mocking way, either. In a ‘I'm Keith and I'm being serious but your reaction is too cute for me to handle’ way.

Lance’s hands, no longer tangled with Keith’s, moved restlessly as he gathered himself up from that. Lance didn't even think he was  _ close  _ to being an option. Keith knew about his insecurities, but he didn't make Lance feel small. He made him feel like he owned the whole universe. Like he could win this stupid galra war on his own. Lance against the World. He sputtered.

“You can't just say things like that! I'm  _ not  _ the leader type. Black wouldn't… she'd know I'm not confident enough to pilot her. Especially with  _ your _ shoes to fill, much less Shiro's. Besides, no one expects me to lead. I'm too much of an eighth wheel for that.  _ No puedo _ , Keith.” 

Keith furrowed his brow, and took in a Lance he’d never really seen before. Expect once, but that was long ago. One of the more earlier times in the constellation room, where Lance laid his insecurities bare for Keith to see. Nonetheless, he had still looked beautiful. Lonely and broken, but beautiful. Keith never wanted his beauty to fade. Lance was too bright for that, too warm. Too deserving of everything good the universe could give him and more. 

Lance fidgeted restlessly with his loose jacket, pulling it tighter around himself in an attempt to hide his unease. Lance knew once Keith left, he'd most likely relapse into the shell of loneliness he had once been before their relationship blossomed. “ _ No puedo _ .” He whispered again, digging the palms of his hands into his eyes. Don't cry. It isn't worth it.

Keith gently pried Lance’s hands from his face, cradling them in his own. Lance stared so openly at him, eyes unafraid of showing weakness. Of showing despair. “I'd follow you to the ends of the earth, Lance. That's how much I trust you. Voltron wouldn't be where it is today without your contribution. You hold us together. You calm us down. Your input is just as important as anyone else's.”

Keith took a breath, and leaned in to press his forehead against Lance’s. Lance blinked, tears sticking to his eyelashes. Keith brought up a hand to wipe them away. “And to be fair, my leading skills were pretty shitty.” He huffed through a small laugh, earning a lopsided grin from Lance. It lit up the whole room, and more. “Get to the point, mullet head.” Lance mumbled, shoving Keith’s shoulder with little force. Just to get an edge, something to hold onto. 

Keith’s light tone suddenly turned serious. “You're the heart of Voltron, Lance. And I know you’d make one hell of a leader.” Keith almost couldn't bare the look Lance gave him in that moment. It was awestruck and fond at the same time, tearing his face open like the sun breaking through clouds on a rainy day. He wrapped himself around Keith, grasping his waist and pulling him tight against his own. 

Holding Keith felt like holding the earth in his arms. Lance missed his home so much, but Keith just had to go and redefine it for him, didn't he. Lance never wanted to let go. Never wanted Keith to leave Voltron. Never wanted to lead until now. “ _ Dios, eres un idiota.  _ Making me feel some type of way with your stupid pretty words. Seducing me. Keith, you absolute fucking heathen. I love you. Stupid.” 

He was going to do it. Lance cupped both his hands around Keith's face, and leaned in and kissed him. It wasn't like their usual tip-toe of a kiss either. He placed it directly on his mouth, trying to make it passionate. Keith toppled over with the surprise of it, landing himself straddling Lance while the other lay on his back. They were on the floor of his room, and it was  _ amazing _ . Everything they both wanted and more.

Lance was the one to break the kiss, grinning up at Keith whose face was flushed a deeper red than that of his paladin armor. He cocked an eyebrow, signature Lance smirk painting his features. “Beat you to that one, Kogane. Nice view. It's a good look on you.” He said, all in a rush. Acutely aware of Keith’s  _ everything  _ on top of him. The weight sitting pleasantly on his waist. His chest. His arms, pinned down by Keith’s hands. Fuck.

Keith rolled his eyes and smiled down at Lance. “Fine, you win the ‘first kiss on the lips’ award. I won at something else, though.” He teased, basking in the heat that trailed across Lance’s face when his voice reached an octave lower. “I said it first.” He leaned down, and captured Lance in a chaste kiss again. His hummed question didn't go unnoticed in Keith's mouth.

Lance pulled away, his breath labored and cheeks rosy. He could get used this, except he didn't have any time at all before Keith was set to leave. He would just have to make do. In a quick roll that caught Keith by surprise, Lance flipped their positions over so he was the one straddling Keith. “Said what first?” He asked into the crook of his neck, feeling Keith’s gasp behind his ear. 

“I love you. I said it first.” Keith breathed, feeling starstruck and overwhelmed and so good at the same time. Lance was leaning over him, the gears of his mind working the pieces together. Until it all made sense. “Oh you sneaky little shit! It was the Japanese, wasn't it?” He shrieked, sitting up to kiss Keith again. He was dumb and in love and Keith's laughter was beautiful, and Lance wanted to swallow him up and never let go of him again. Keith was a sight to behold as he struggled to contain blips of laughter, pulling Lance down into a hug as he caught his breath, squeezing when Lance grumbled “Guess we're even now” into his shoulder. 

They lay there until the hard floor became too uncomfortable for cuddling on, and they made their way into Lance's bed. Keith never really got a good look at Lance's room before, and it was anything but the bland space it had once been when they’d first arrived on the ship. Lance took it upon himself to hang fanart from other planets along his walls, and decorated his ceiling with flags picked up at various space malls. Lance always got so excited when he found earth artifacts, and never failed to purchase them. It made Keith’s heart hurt to see how much Lance missed their planet, which was so far away.

Keith knew that he'd be leaving the team shortly. He knew he'd have to let go. He'd have to put all this behind him and chant ‘knowledge or death’ instead of ‘you say vol, I say tron’ when saluting to the Blade. The red lion was apart of him, but so were the Galra. In one way or another, his destiny was tied to both. He was unsure whether or not that was a good thing. “Can I break it to them tomorrow?” He whispered against Lance’s chest, where his head so conveniently found its way onto.

Lance sighs, tutting his tongue while shaking his head. “Procrastination, Keith, is going to get you nowhere! But fine, since we're cuddling. The longer you wait, the harder it's going to be to tell them.” Lance murmurs, closing his eyes and humming. Keith scoffed, linking their hands together under the covers. “Yeah yeah, don't remind me.” 

“Goodnight, Lance.”

“ _ Buenas noches _ , Keith.”

 

-

 

The dining room was a mess. Coran and Hunk had tried a new recipe for ‘space pancakes’ which they also called ‘galaxy pancakes’, but neither the name or color of said pancakes could save them from not being edible. Keith would've been fine with the regular space goo, but Hunk always insisted on trying something new. Keith knew about change, but when it came to food in space? No thank you. Hunk was a great chef, but not even his skilled hands could make something disgusting taste much better.

Eventually breakfast 2.0 was a go, and they sat down to eat the goo they all loathed, even if Hunk  _ did  _ make it taste like maple syrup. Keith cleared his throat once everyone was settled, and lifted his head a bit higher than everyone else's. Lance gripped his hand under the table, flashing him a grin for good luck. Keith was going to need it.

“Some of you may already know this… but there's something I've been meaning to tell all of you. At once.” Keith started, eyes bright with determination. “I’m… leaving- Lance and I are together! Like  _ together  _ together.” He blurted out, earning a groan from a very flushed Lance as he dropped his forehead onto the table. Keith’s eyebrows shot up at his response, and everyone else's lack thereof. 

Pidge rolled her eyes, smirking as she adjusted her glasses. “Anyone with a brain could've figured that one out, Keith.” Hunk nodded along, grinning from ear to ear. “Yeah, you guys aren't that secretive, it was pretty obvious.” He offered with a chuckle. Shiro didn't say anything, but smiled with a nod. Allura and Coran shrugged like it was no big deal. “You two have been close since the very start, so I am not surprised.” She added, looking rather amused. Lance kept groaning all the while, gaining volume as everyone had their say. 

Keith sat there, eyes wide, taking it all in. That hadn't been what he'd meant to say, he just got nervous at the last second. Lance’s hand holding had pulled him out of his thoughts, causing him to blurt out what he had once thought was a huge secret. Apparently not, by the looks of it. He gripped the table for some kind of emotional support, face heated with embarrassment. Had they really been that obvious?

“ _ Ignóralo!  _ Keith didn't mean to say that, even though it's true, of course! He was going to say something  _ else  _ that is more  _ important _ but because he's a huge idiot, he's going to have to try again because he promised he would last night!” Lance shrieked, crossing his arms with embarrassment, joy, and defiance. Keith rolled his eyes, feeling both scandalous and exasperated. He sighed and tried again, clearing his throat for a second time. The others’ lopsided grins further aided in his quiet suffering. Lance couldn’t stop blinking or huffing beside him. Keith groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine. Fine!”

“I’m leaving to join the Blade of Marmora. Soon. I know I’m a valuable member of the team, but Shiro’s back now. We’re already allied with the Blade, so if I’m there it’s like we have someone on the inside, right?” Keith stops, taking in their faces. He could barely glance at Pidge, who looked as distraught as he felt. The moment he’d said ‘leaving’, the tears in Hunk’s eyes didn’t waver. Shiro was as stoic as ever, and Allura was smiling, albeit bitterly. Coran continued cleaning up breakfast, a knowing look on his face. Keith wished he could take it all back. Lance squeezed his shoulder.

Pidge was the first to react, sliding out of her chair to tower above Keith. “Leaving? Now, when we’re so close to finding my brother, you’re leaving? We need you more than ever! Keith, don’t you remember when I tried to leave on my own? You were the one who stopped me! Talk about selfish. Ungrateful-” Pidge cuts herself off, glaring something venomous at Keith. He could barely hold it together, and her vehement digs at him wasn’t making him feel any better. The tension in the room was nearly suffocating. Lance took it upon himself  to bring the peace. “ _ Cálmate _ , Pidge. Let a guy explain himself before you get all guilt-trippy on him, geez.” He sighed into the open air, pinching the bridge of his nose. Another nervous tick, besides the Spanish. Keith wanted to kiss him.

Keith tried to meet her eyes, to no avail. Hunk wasn’t looking at him either, his kindness and understanding dulled in the heat of the moment. Pidge set her jaw, and motioned her hand for Keith to continue. He thanked the stars she was even willing to listen. “I know I’m a bit of a hypocrite, that I do things on impulse. Joining the Blade is like when I found the blue lion. I have an instinct, and I need to follow it. It’s really that simple, Pidge. This war is about taking risks, okay, and this is mine. We all want it to end sooner than later. And Pidge, we all want to find your brother. You’ll stop at nothing to get him back. We’re the same.” His voice is nearly pleading at end, but Keith knows he got somewhere. Pidge finally regards him again, shrugging a stray tear away.

There are no words, but Pidge leans over and lays her hand against Keith’s shaking fist. She nods, once, and pulls back. Keith lets out a breath, a hesitant smile on his lips. Sometimes he wondered why Pidge was so devoted to her family, but now he thought he understood.. Being an orphan, Keith learned to love being alone. Foster families could only love him so much. Could only love some of him, could only love who he let them see. Keith was ignorant when it came to family. He didn’t know how to be in one, or accepted in one, or loved in one. That was before all this; before the blue lion and Voltron. Before he found people who loved him for him, regardless of where he came from and who he was. Keith found a family in space and from then on, he wasn’t about to take them for granted anymore.

Hunk, although teary eyed and sniffly, grinned at him from across the table. “I trust you, man. If joining the Blade is what you want to do, then go for it, Keith.” Allura nodded along, her smile nothing but encouraging. “There will always be a place for you in Voltron as well, Keith. Always remember that.” Keith looked down, shy, at her sentiment. He wondered why he ever doubted them at all, why he thought they’d hate him for leaving the team. Maybe it was because he was used to feeling withdrawn, alone and away from everyone he knew. Voltron changed that about him. Voltron made him whole, and now he was leaving. What kind of decision was this?

Keith didn’t know too much about breakfasts, but this was probably one of the most interesting ones he ever had. He watched his team as they cleaned up and offered him their support, some luck, and a whole lot of love. Keith almost felt guilty, not wanting to meet their eyes or saddened smiles. “Thank you guys. It means the world to me.” They almost had to strain to hear him, considering he nearly whispered it as they made their way of the dining area. Lance, however, didn’t miss a beat. “I’m hurt. I thought  _ I  _ meant the world to you.” 

Keith grinned, although a bit lopsided, as he stood and wrapped his arms around Lance. “That’s because you mean the  _ universe _ to me. In every reality.” He might had batted his eyelashes a bit, purely because he knew how to play Lance’s game. His flirting rubbed off a bit on Keith, and he was going to that to his advantage no matter what. Needless to say, Lance fell right into his trap. “Keith! Be still,  _ mi corazón!  _ How’d you get to be so sly, mullet head? Definitely not from me.” Lance raised an eyebrow as he twirled Keith around, voice playful and laced with joy. Keith couldn’t help but giggle as Lance spun and leaned him into a dip, only to bring him back up again so that their faces were inches apart. Keith shrugged as an afterthought to Lance’s question, because he wasn’t about to admit his allegation was true.

Lance smiled as he leaned in and placed a kiss gently onto Keith’s cheek. “I’m sad you’re leaving.” His voice was barely a whisper, but Keith heard him loud and clear. Lance brushed some stray hairs out of Keith’s face, and kissed him on the forehead too. “Promise we’ll still be like this when you come back.” This time, Keith really had to strain to hear what he’d said into the crown of his head. When he pulled back, Lance’s smile had fallen, and a worried crease formed in his brow. His eyes, however, were bright and bored into Keith’s own, pinning him in place. 

“Of course I promise, Lance. Did you think we  _ wouldn’t _ be together when I got back?” It was hard for Keith to believe that Lance would even think of questioning their relationship when he’d been so open about it. Lance’s gaze shifted, and Keith knew an insecure look when he saw it. Lance shrugged sheepishly, drawing in on himself even though they were still holding each other. “War changes people.” He grumbled, voice wavering. “Sometimes I feel like I’m overwhelming you with…  _ all this _ .” Lance titled his head, gesturing to their situation. “I’m scared when you leave, you’ll realize we rushed into it.” Lance squeezed his eyes shut, forcing back tears. His throat nearly closed up at the end; at the prospect of giving Keith an out. 

Keith took a second to marvel at Lance as if he were an anomaly. As if he was looking at space for the very first time, and fear overcame his excitement. In that moment, looking at Lance felt like the negative g-force he sometimes felt when flying Red, where his blood felt weightless inside his own body. Keith felt his hands begin to shake as he grasped for Lance, anything, his jacket or his hands. Hopefully his heart. 

“You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you? Lance, I- This whole thing-  _ Us  _ saved me. Remember the first night in the constellation room? We were both at our breaking points. Then you showed me the stars, and I swear I was looking at you more than I was looking at those little beads of light. You were the brightest thing in that room, Lance. I never thought I'd have something- someone… like  _ this _ . I thought we established that I love you, because saying  _ aishiteru  _ is sort of big deal in Japanese. When I get back, even if this stupid-ass war changes me, how I feel for you won't.”

Keith finished his impromptu speech by pulling Lance into a hug, letting it linger until his fingers felt numb curled into his jacket. A broken sigh fell off of Lance’s lips, his shoulders dropping as relief flooded throughout him. He knew they were fine, perfect even. Lance just wanted Keith all to himself, and the galra could suck it. “Sorry. You know how I am… sometimes. Insecure or whatever.” Lance grumbled, shifting away from Keith's embrace. Keith brought his hand to caress Lance’s cheek, bringing the other boy's eyes to him. 

“Your feelings are valid, Lance. You're allowed to question things and have doubts. Just- let me know if  _ I'm  _ doing something to make you feel like that. This is my first relationship, after all.” Keith mumbled towards the end, turning rather bashful. Lance's eyes lit up like that of an exploding star, blue and bright and so open Keith wanted to get lost in them. 

Keith wanted so badly, in that moment, to forget he ever decided to leave. 

**Author's Note:**

> hey again!!! did you like it? hope so!   
> feel free to talk to me all things voltron on my tumblr @/ukulele-hiphop


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